Hey loves! <3 Hope you’re feeling great!

How I found out I was pregnant.. firstly even when I bought the test I thought there was no way, it was kind of just a routine check, buying the cheapest one’s from Clicks because obviously it’s going to be negative because I’m on the pill, but I just wanted to clear my mind of the chance that I might be because my period was late. I was on the pill and tracking my period on an app and my period was usually always 1 or 2 days early so I always told my friends I never had pregnancy scares because even before I could start worrying my period has already started. So when it was 3 days late I started to worry a little bit, but I had no other symptoms. I showed J.D. the app that my period was 3 days late and his reaction was, “why are you showing me this” and then I said I’m going to Clicks, which was me telling him I’m going to get a test. He did not get the hint AT ALL. So I go to Clicks, go buy it, buy the cheapest one, don’t think anything of it, come back home, and go straight to the bathroom to take the test. Within a few seconds a faint line started popping up and I think I blacked out after that.

J.D. was working at his desk, thank goodness for lock down that he was here but I just screamed and called him. He came immediately and I think when he saw me standing in the door he finally clicked what was going on and what I was trying to hint at earlier in the day. He just got the biggest smile and looked so excited. I think my reaction was “what are you smiling about, this is a disaster” haha and he just said, I’m old enough, I’m 30, it’s fine… with THE biggest grin.

I still didn’t believe it and was sure it was a mistake, so that evening I took another one, positive again. I was still in disbelief. Next morning went to Checkers and got the clear blue one that’s a bit more expensive and tells you how many weeks you are and yip, straight away it said pregnant 2-3 weeks I think.

Actually typing this now at 16 weeks only feels real, everything so far has just felt like a dream and like a blur. I think I was more emotional the first few weeks than excited, but also so terrified of getting excited and then it doesn’t work out. So I think all the way up to 12 weeks I didn’t allow myself to get excited or emotionally attached for the fear of having my dream ripped away from me. I honestly think I believed for a while that this will be a miscarriage. There was no way that me, that had so many hormone issues/lack of hormones, barely ever had a normal period, was sure I would never be able to have children or would struggle to fall pregnant could fall pregnant like this, without trying and have everything work out. There was just no chance…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *